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a week at home

Alhamdulillah, at last we r at home, it has been a week already. Iman was so thrill when the doc said the result of CMV PCR is negative, so he can go back.. big hoorayyy

He will rest for 1 mth before next treatment, but he needs to get injected with chemo med (Vincristine and another drug) this monday and tuesday. The med doc said can sustain him for a mth during the break,, but as and when he fall sick we must bring him direct to hospital.. now we r back in hospital

Iman started having fever yesterday,, he never had fever since discharge, he didnt go out of the house and barely people visit him during last week,, and we wonder where it come from,, fever is an indication something wrong is happening in his body,, the fever didnt really 'go' after each paracetamol intakes,, it keeps coming back rite after the the 4 hrs lapsed,, w/out hesitation we head straight to emergency and yes,, iman needs to be warded.. his total white is higher than a normal person,, they said it could be due to infection.. he's on drip now.. worse still dia meracau2.. erm sian plak tgk dia,,

he lost 2 kilos of the 2nd cycle, he didnt get back his original weight,, not like the 1st cycle.. as much as we force him to eat, make variety of foods,,, he only put on few bites of each food,, i'm not gonna give up.. that's what mother do, wont give up on her kid rite..

not sure whether doc will continue with the chemo tomorrow, wait and see.. as for me now i'm expressing milk for my lil one at home while typing and watching tv..
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Iman x boleh discaj lagi

Yes his immune is back to normal,, today his total white at 7.2, platelet has become independent (2 days straight w/out platelet infusion,, ),, yahhoo.his body is producing his own platelet!!!


During one of platelet infusion, shivering is normal during the process, so he is covering his body with his 'selimut bucuk'


but sadly he just unfit to go home just yet.. erm his CMV PCR came back positive, just like last time,, Most Malaysian have this virus, this virus can attact iman while he has low immune system..

b4 the 2nd cycle kicked off, iman was on Foscanet (the antiviral), they did the CMV PCR test few times and they came back negative, but the latest test came back positive,,, sigh... It must be treated or else it may effect him later on,,

So tomorrow they will start Foscanet on Iman, 3 times a day, maybe for 2-3 days.. Iman already complaining  about wanting to go home, he bored playing snake and ladder, scrabble, plastacine...
he miss his brothers, miss his bicycle, miss his toys,,


playing online games - sesame street



eeewww, i grows moustache!


i myself : miss being home with the whole family,, like we used to,,
and I have big task waiting for me.. to train my new maid.. this is my 4th from kemboja,, hope this will be the last.. pls pray for us,, hope for the best insyaallah

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Ada hikmah di sebalik musibah

Kosmo harini ada citer psl hikmah disebalik musibah dlm bhgn soal jawab agama, nak petik sedikit riwayat muslim berkenaan ini :

"Dan jika sesuatu kesusahan mengenaimu janganlah engkau berkata - jika aku berbuat telah berbuat begini dan begitu, begini dan begitu lar jadinya. Melainkan hendaklah kamu katakan : Allah telah mentakdirkan apa yang ia suka, ia perbuat! "Kerana sesungguhnya perkataan andaikata ... itu memberi peluang kepada syaitan.

Sememangnya terdetik perkataan itu di hati ini selalu,, kalau lar aku tahu iman sakit awal2 lagi mesti dapat elak benda nih,, Andaikata peads kami dapat detect benda nih,,, macam2 lagi... mcm2 terpikir dlm kepala dan suami lar tempat mengadu,,,

i'm so lucky kimi (my beloved hubby) keeps reminding me that thinking about those things cant change anything,, cuma akan buat kita menyalahkan takdir.. dan kita x mungkin dapat mengubah apa yang telah ditentukan, direzekikan kepada kita oleh Allah.. Allah lebih tahu apa yg terbaik utk hamba2nya

Aku bersyukur aku diberi peluang ini dan kimi ada bersama2 mengharungi dugaan ini.. moga semuanya dipermudahkan oleh Allah, Amin 

(to my hubby if u r reading this, i luv u so much and tq for being there)
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White cell engrafting, Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah, iman's white cell engrafting on day 7 (from 0 to 0.2),, today his count is 0.9, tho not as good as the 1st cycle (1.1) we are happy cos the the engraftment is happening very fast..

His platelet is still not stable yet, ok after platelet infusion is done and the following day started to drop again.. as of today 3 bags of platelets were infused to him.. same goes to his haemoglobin,, it keeps dropping.. no wonder he looks so pale.. so today he receive another bag of blood (packcell)... all blood (platelet / packcell) must be irridiated prior to each infusion.. 

despite that, doctor expect iman can be discharge as targeted on day 14.. hope for the best,, Insyaallah


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Seharian berhadapan dgn amukan iman

i dont now what or why , but today iman really had a bad mood,, non stop.. tried to console him, but it doesnt worked,, he refuse to drink, dont want to take his meds, dont want to eat..

for today we have all kind of foods,, today i bought him his fav food nasi lemak and mee hoon,, his menu for b/fast was porridge, lunch mee goreng, corn soup and muffin.. dinner my hubby bought some cakes and scones.. all just to make him eat.. but end up we have to eat them all..

taking his meds are the worse part,, he yelled, he screamed.. if only we knew what made him so grumpy.. i threaten if he didnt take his med i'll be going home, so he had to stay with the nurse,, he then take all the medicine but eventually he throw lots of thing, from pillow, his psp, spill some water on the bed, erm.. pls give us patience ya Allah



The chemo has made iman's skin a bit darker, more obvious his fingers..



hope he has better mood tomorrow..


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