teruknya kesan 2nd cycle

this time around memang teruk side effect from the kemo which totally different from the 1st cycle.. iman kena diarrhea,, non stop purging esp on 2nd day of kemo,, just imagine no food intake at all,, so what comes out from his body basicly water from his drip i think.. kesian dia.. sampai melecet.. iman memang lemah sbb dia x larat nak bangun.. tapi dia x merengek,, sesekali dia mengadu pening.. we all letak vics utk kurangkan rasa pening tuh,, nampak mcm works.. tapi kena sentiasa lar bubuh..

Iman pn x larat nak bangun plus with 6-7 drips attached to him, susah lar nak ke toilet everytime dia nak pass motion.. dia pakai pampers je lar,, cuma iman nih memang x leh nak sheshe dkt pampers,, so still kena pakai urine bottle utk ensure dia kencing every hour.. lagi pun senang nurse nak cek urine output dia..

satu lagi,, iman dah 3 days in a row x tido,, maybe sebab sakit atau terlampau byk berfikir,, doktor kata it's not due to kemo med.. doktor bagi ubat utk dia tido tapi sbb dia asyik muntah, x works lar ubat tuh.. sian dia x boleh tido.. tgk mcm mana mlm nih,, satu hari nih aku x bagi dia tido.. mcm2 lar buat ngan dia.. main scrabble,, buat homework,, tgk tv, pastu suh dia main game.. walaupun  dia dok komplen psl lenguh2 tangan,, pas urut2 tgn dia.. dia main balik..
hopefully by nite he'll be able to sleep.. so ibu pun boleh tido gak... aku dah ngantuk sgt nih.. tapi pelik mata dia buntang lagi nih haa.. mana lar dia dapat tenaga.. nih dia tgh tgk disney chanel, so boleh godek blog nih


muntah tuh mcm biasa lar,, sbb ubat kemo nih kuat.. tho ada ubat tahan muntah,, dia still muntah gak,, non stop.. memula muntah hijau,, tahu je lar kalau muntah hijau tu kan.. cam masa menagndung.. kalau muntah hijau tu punya lar pedih dada tuh.. tapi lelama keluar ketulan darah.. nurse tuh kata maybe sebab dah luka dlm tuh.. dia asyik muntah je.. risau nya lar hati nih,, kena hari sabtu plak,,doktor dah balik,, lagi lar hati aku nih berdebar2,, sib baik esoknya muntah dia jadi normal balik.. alhamdulillah,, lega betul

satu masalah lagi dia x boleh bau makanan atau bau yg pelik2.. bau sup cendawan pn buat dia muntah.. bau nasik goreng lagi lar... few times gak kitorang bergilir makan kat visitors' room,, kitorang sembur gak perfume,, gantung mcm2 pewangi,, x jalan gak.. dia rasa mual2.. harap2 okay lar lagi few days nih

rawatan nih memang menyakitkan, kita yg melihat nih memang x sanggup lar tgk dia dlm keadaan mcm nih,, dia yg mengalaminya x tahu lar mcm mana..
tapi this is the best treatment,, rawatan ini hanyala method utk sembuhkan dia,, kuasa utk menyembuh hanyalar milik Allah jua,, hanya pada Dia kami panjatkan doa,, moga kanser ini dapat hilang dari bdn iman buat selama-lamanya.. Amin..

 

my 3 heros, 4 actually.. nih gambar ms kt melaka,, lupe na bwk card reader, so x leh nak upload gambar latest.. mayb later k

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stem cell infusion

today is a very big day for iman.. stem cell infusion was done at 10 this morning,, takes 30 minutes to fully infused,, during the infusion he was awake and i can see he's uncomfortable with the whole things.. the machine, the red colored stem cell.. this is the first he watch the whole process.. he slepts during the 1st cycle.. a bit of a shocker cos there are so many strangers in the rooms for this procedure.. yeah.. he's a shy person.. he's uncomfortable with new people around..

But he eventually sleeps due to medicine inserted prior to stem cell..  or because he didnt sleep well last nite, or last 2 nites.. dont know y, not because of the medicine,, doctor said probably cause he thinks a lot, initially we couldnt believe it cos he just a kid,, what he probably think of would be playing 24/7,,
but when we asked him, he said yes,, i think about adik.. sian my little baby.. he miss his brothers.. and that's the only thing he have in mind now.. he wanna go home..

so days ahead are really important.. his wbc, haemoglobin and platelet will be monitored closely..

iman will remind me to pray for him.. ibu arini kita belum doa sama-sama lagi,,,
so my prayers :

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim, we recite al fatihah,, then Ya Allah Ya tuhan ku, Kau maha pengasih dan maha penyayang,, sembuhkan lar penyakit muhammad iman farihin utk selama-lamanya ya Allah, kurangkanlah kesakitan yang akan dialaminya ya Allah, kuranganlah kesan dari rawatan ini ya Allah.. kasihanilah hambamu ini ya Allah.. amin ya rabbal a'lamin

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and the journey continues

Alhamdulillah these few days iman dah boleh main kejar2 dgn adik2 dia.. kalau tidak dia akan terbaring aje.. dia dah x demam lagi.. selalunya at least once a day demam.. but low grade fever ler, highest 38 degrees on last sunday.. risau sbb doctor kata if exceed 37.8 kena admit,, muka dia pucat,, but we take the risk utk x admit cos lagi 2 hari before next treatment,, sian at dia,, bagi dia main puas2 dgn adik2 dia..

risau sgt sbb ramai org visit iman kat umah,, nak kata x blh dtg susah jugak..tapi mmg doktor suruh limit visitor utk elak jangkitan.. though his imun system dah back to normal, he is still vulnerable to infection which can be harmful for his next treatment cycle,, i know how much u cared about iman.. but pls pls do understand of his condition,, i love him too

Today (23/3), iman proceeds with 2nd cycle,, so as usual he had to u/go several tests...  hearing test, ecg and MRI.. ECG and MRI came out ok,, but his hearing ada masalah sikit of which he cant hear high frequency sounds,, i was informed it would be permanent.. unreversable due to chemo medicine calls cisplate.. bergenang air mata.. husband suruh kuat.. aku pergi toilet utk menangis sepuas2nya.. x nak iman tahu... x boleh tido memikirkan benda nih... x sabar tunggu esok utk tanya dkt doctor sendiri

kalau lar boleh transfer all the pain, all the side effect to me.. aku sanggup.. he still young, he wont u/stand what’s happening to him,, if only.. tapi semua nih dah ditakdirkan, segala nikmat yg dikurniakan oleh-Nya boleh diambil semula bila2 masa, semua milik-Nya.. dan aku redha.. sesungguhnya ada khabar gembira utk org2 yg sabar selepas setiap ujian yg diberikan oleh-Mu.. moga kami tergolong dlm kumpulan itu,, berikanlah kekuatan kepada kami utk menghadapi dugaan-Mu ini.. Amin

Untuk anakku iman, ini x ada apa2.. ada orang yg lagi susah.. iman kena kuat ye,, sbb iman sumber kekuatan ibu ye.. ibu akan sentiasa doakan kesembuhan iman..

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Ibu, susah x jaga iman

Gulp,berderau darah..   tetiba plak anak ibu tanya soalan macam nih.. he popped me this question when i was done doing flushing and dressing for his line in his chest.. "X susah, x penat pun,, ibu suka sbb ibu dapat jaga iman".. that was my response..  soalan budak2 memang x boleh nak jangka..

Ada one time, waktu tuh tgh ada zikir arwah ustaz asri kat tv, we all cakap ustaz nih dah meninggal, then dia tanya kenapa.. sbb dah sampai masa Allah panggil dia, tetiba dia tanya bila pulak masa iman.. masa tuh x terkata apa,, cuma air mata je yg bergenang menahan sedih..

Memang x susah jaga iman,, Yes, i admit iman needs xtra attentions sbb dia x sihat, dia cepat penat.. he's moody,, kena byk sabar dalam menjaga dia,, sabar kah aku?.. rasanya aku lar manusia yg paling x sabar dlm dunia nih.. kekadang aku hilang sabar,, cos sometimes i do forget yg iman nih sakit,, lemahnya aku..

Tapi dalam kelemahan aku, aku diberikan anak yang kuat,, iman is really a strong boy,,, he faced so many things from resection, RT, and now chemo.. he can deal with it, why cant i!!!

Aku cetek ilmu ya Allah, dugaanMu ini amat berat, amat sukar,, tidak pernah terfikir oleh ku Ya Allah,, aku percaya ada kebaikan disebalik semua ini yg tidak terjangkau oleh akal fikiran ku,, kau berikanlah kekuatan dan kesabaran pada kami ya Allah..

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End of Cycle 1

Tomorrow iman will be discharged Alhamdulillah exactly after 2 weeks of observation.. he’ll have 1 week break before heading for the next cycle. Sorry i haven’t got the chance to update new n3 during the 2 wks observation.  The past 2 wks were really hard cos my 2 other kids were also unwell,, so my husband and i will take turn to go back and look after them..  plus during those 2 wks, iman needed xtra attention..  

On daily basis they took iman’s blood to test and monitor 3 important things i.e. haemoglobin, platelet and white blood cell (the immune system)..  his wbc turn 0 on 4/3,,  it is  normal due to the chemo,, it will be only worrying, if it doesn’t go down...

Side effect,,, He sleeps 3-4 hours straight during the day which is unusual for him, he didn’t eat much (thanks to protein inserted direct to him) at least can maintain his body weight.. his body aching, he had headache.. he pee every 2 hours.. he had a mood swing.. it really really tested my patience.. arghhh.. may allah give us strengths..

He requires platelet infusion few times in a weeks.. received antibiotic, anti-fungus and antiviral,, all on daily basis.. Iman shivers most of the time after insertion of anti-fungus.. fever is up and down.. he had fever at least once a day.

1st wk of observation,, he looks pale

Now after the 2 weeks the doctor is really impress with iman’s progress.. normally patient’s immune system (white blood cell) only recovers after day 11 onwards but for iman, his white blood cell (wbc) engrafted at day 9,, and it recovers really fast from 0.2 (8/3) to 1.1 the next day (9/3) and today (13/1) his wbc at 10.6,, (wbc for normal people is an average of 4.0 – 11.0). Tho the platelet is still not within the normal range, doctor expect it will take couple of days before it back to normal..

These few days he started working on his work books,, he concentrated  on the book and wanted us to draw star after each pages he did correctly.. what makes us proud he manage to  complete his math book, abc etc tho on and off he had to lay down cos he said he's feeling tired and want to rest before continuing with his work,,  he really strong and determine.. i've learnt so much from him.. Alhamdulillah Ya Allah for giving me such a great boy in my life..  

dont disturb me, i'm focussing now

yay yay, i got a star!!!!

Iman may need to come back early if virus checks on his blood came back positive, the result will only available this friday.. hope it's -ve.. The previous checking came out positive, so doctor has prescribed him anti viral insertion thrice a day,, if the coming check up shows +ve result, he needs to be inserted with the anti viral before the next cycle started as a precaution..so really hope for a good news..

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2 weeks observation

The protocol will takes around 4 mths to complete. Each cycle will at least require 3 wks stay in the hospital. 3days for chemo, subsequnetly salvage with stem cell (1 day) and remaining (around 2 wks) for observation..

Now iman is still under observation.. his red blood count, white cell and platelet are dropping drastically,, the doctor says it normal cos effect of the high dose chemo, so iman will received several blood infusion including the platelet from the donors list.. so far he had received 1 bag of red blood,, and scheduled for platelet infusion tomorrow.. thanks to all dear donors who willing to come and donate their platelet for iman..

For the white cells, iman receive 1 jab of imune booster called niprogen (hope the spelling is corrent) once a day,, tho the nurses put some cream to numb the injection area, he still upset after each shot and started to throw things,, the merajuk will continues for few hours,, adush.. and for me i'll quietly sit the furthers part in the room until he cools down..

The doctor advise not have any visitors cos his imune system is low and he can easily get infection from others, we are using face mask, washing our hand regularly to avoid any infection.. sometimes iman asked us to bring his brothers to visit him cos he said he miss them really bad,, so my husband on and off will bring his brothers to the hospital but they will stay outside the room and start talking to each other at a very long distance.. i could see iman looks so depressed cos he is unable to play with his brothers,, being isolated in the room.. the hardest part is when it come time to say good bye.. i could see his eye become watery.. i know he want to kiss his brothers, to hug them,, but he cant do it as for now.. pls pls iman keep it together.. be strong okay..

my 3 musketeers at Desa Waterpark

As for the appetite, it is picking up, 2-days ago he wanted to eat pizza, he eat almost 3 slices which is good acdg to the dietician cos pizza has lots of calories,, the dietician also made strawberry smoothies with icecream on top on daily basis for iman.. he drinks 1/3 and definitely i'm not gonna waste it rite, it really delicious and there goes few kilos on my belly.. aiyakkk..

i'll update the latest status soon,,

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Thanks to all

Alhamdulillah, rezeki iman.. within 4 days (since fri - today) we manage to get 6 donors A+ and 3 donors O+,, To all donors i really appreciate ur kindness and i know i'm gonna be indebtedness thru-out my entire life for all ur help

Thousand thanks to all who spread the news and to those who come and did the screening,
Was informed by the bloodbank that there are alot of potential donor who turn up for screening... i myself received several calls asking about the platelet donation,, to my surprise the contacts were given by people i didnt know, it proves how much people really cares bout Iman tho they didnt even know him or know my family personally.. It really touch my heart.. My son shld be thankfull cos there are so many people love him

Again, i'm on behalf of all my family want to express my greatest gratitute to all generous people out there and may Allah repay ur kindness in any way, Amin

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